A one act play for 11 students to perform in class.
Except for Linda and Frankie, the names and gender of the cast can be changed without affecting the plot
- A couple of bench seats. A basketball
- Sound Effects
- Supplied off stage as appropriate
- Full caps text is SHOUTED; italicised text is spoken with emphasis
TEACHER: Hello Linda. What’s the matter with you; you look worried?
LINDA: Nothing. Nothing’s the matter.
TEACHER: Nothing? You don’t look like that, if nothing’s the matter.
LINDA: It’s nothing really. I just got the results of the IQ test.
TEACHER: That’s great. So, what’s the problem?
LINDA: It’s the results.
TEACHER: Surely, they can’t be that bad. You’re a very bright student so; you should have done well.
LINDA: That’s the problem; I did too well!
TEACHERS: Now, now. Nobody does too well in an IQ test.
LINDA: Well I did. They tell me I’m a genius.
TEACHER: That’s wonderful. I always knew you were smart.
LINDA: But that’s the problem. Nobody likes smart people and I’ll lose all my friends when they find out.
TEACHER: Come now; it’s not as bad as that. People admire people with brains.
LINDA: That’s alright for you to say, but none of my friends like to be shown up.
TEACHER: Who’s going to show them up? It’s not your fault if you get better grades than they do.
LINDA: That’s not what I mean. My boyfriend will hate it if I’m smarter than he is.
TEACHER: Then he’s not much of a boyfriend. You’d be better off without him if that’s what he thinks.
LINDA: No, you don’t understand.
TEACHER: Well, if you’re the smart one then, I guess, you’ll have to work out a way to deal with that.
LINDA: Thanks for nothing.
TEACHER: You are what you are Linda. You have the gift of brains; don’t waste it; just make the best use of it that you can.
LINDA: Sorry. Thanks, I’ll try.
JENNY: Hi Linda. What’s the go? I saw you having a chat with Teach.
LINDA: Oh! It’s nothing. We were just chatting.
JENNY: I got the results of my IQ test. I did OK; above average. How did you go?
LINDA: OK, I guess.
JENNY: What do you mean; OK? I thought you’d do well.
LINDA: Yeah. I did OK.
JENNY: Come on; out with it. What were your results?
LINDA: If I tell you, you promise you won’t tell anyone else?
JENNY: They can’t be that bad?
LINDA: You promise?
JENNY: Yeah. OK, I promise.
LINDA: I’m a genius according to that stupid test.
JENNY: A GENIUS! You got to be kidding?
LINDA: Not so loud; I don’t want anyone to know.
JENNY: But that’s great – isn’t it?
LINDA: No it’s not. If Frankie knows I’m a genius he won’t want to have anything to do with me.
JENNY: That’s crazy. He may not be the smartest guy in the world but he’s great at basketball.
LINDA: Yeah. I love to watch him play.
JENNY: So, what are you going to do?
LINDA: Ah; that’s the problem, isn’t it, “To be or not to be?”
JENNY: Well, you had better go and study Shakespeare and see what his answer is.
LINDA: Anyway; I got to go. Promise me you won’t tell anyone.
JENNY: Yeah. I’ve already given you my promise. Don’t worry; it’ll work out OK.
APPLE: Hey, There’s Jenny over there.
BULL: Hi Jenny, can we join you?
JENNY: Yeah, sure. Plenty of room here.
JOY: We got our results of the IQ test. We all did pretty good.
JENNY: What’s that mean?
APPLE: We all got a good average. How did you go?
JENNY: Don’t be sticky.
BULL: Aw, come on! It can’t be that much of a secret.
JOY: I bet she didn’t do any good and that’s why she won’t tell us.
JENNY: As a matter of fact, I got above average.
APPLE: There you are; I knew Jenny was a bit of a smartypants.
JENNY: I am not. I can’t help it if I’ve got more brains than you lot.
BULL: Looks like we got a genius amongst us.
JENNY: What? How did you know?
BULL: Well, above average must be pretty close to genius?
JENNY: Oh! Is that what you meant?
APPLE: Why? What did you think we meant?
JENNY: Oh, nothing.
JOY: Oh, no. I don’t think it’s nothing. Something’s going on.
BULL: What are you hiding Jenny? What do you know that we don’t?
JENNY: It’s nothing.
APPLE: Come on! Something’s going on; what is it?
JENNY: I can’t tell you. I made a promise.
JOY: A promise to who?
JENNY: I can’t tell you. That’s the promise.
BULL: If you can’t tell us who; you surely can tell us what?
JENNY: I’m not sure if I should.
APPLE: Come on Jenny. Don’t be coy. We promise not to tell anyone. Trust us!
JENNY: You promise?
BULL: Yeah. We promise.
JENNY: Well, we do have a real, live, genuine genius among us at the Uni.
JOY: Wow! That’s great. Who is it?
JENNY: I can’t tell you that.
APPLE: I bet it’s Linda.
BULL: Yeah, It has to be Linda. She’s always top of the class.
JOY: I don’t know it’s her. She’s pretty dumb in a lot of ways. She never dresses very good and she’s going around with Frankie.
JENNY: And what’s wrong with Frankie? He’s a good basketballer.
JOY: But that’s about all.
BULL: So it is Linda?
JENNY: I’m not saying that. I didn’t say it was her.
APPLE: OK. OK. Don’t get hot under the collar.
JENNY: Anyway, I got to go. I’ll leave it with you guys to worry about who it is.
BULL: What’s going to happen to Linda now if she really is a genius?
APPLE: They’ll probably pack her off to one of those special schools where they just teach geniuses
JOY: I don’t think she’ll like that very much.
BULL: Maybe not but, a genius does what a genius must.
APPLE: Here come Joan and Daniel. Shall we tell them?
JOY: Why not? This could be a bit of fun.
JOAN: Hi guys. What’s the latest?
JOY: We just found out we have a genius on campus.
DANIEL: Well, congratulations are in order then. I’ll accept them humbly!
APPLE: Stop kidding us! The day you get described as a genius is the day I run around the campus naked!
DANIEL: Well, you better start stripping right now cause you’re looking at a certified genius.
BULL: That’s the biggest bit of bull I’ve heard in a long time.
JOAN: Spoken like a true bull artist.
JOY: So, what makes you a genius? If you are, you’ve made sure its been well hidden.
DANIEL: That’s what makes me smarter than you guys. I don’t want to be labelled a smart-arse so, I travel incognito.
APPLE: Boy; look at this, he’s taken to using big words.
BULL: He probably doesn’t even know what it means.
DANIEL: That’s one of my problems, I sometimes have trouble hiding my genius and it just slips out.
JOAN: Yeah, that can be a big problem!
BULL: OK genius; tell us how many other geniuses we have on campus?
DANIEL: That’s not for me to say. We geniuses have ways of communicating that are beyond the realm of ordinary people.
JOAN: He must be talking about telepathy.
BULL: I’ve never heard so much bull in one day!
DANIEL: How I pity yea of such small intellect.
JOY: Oh, how I pity yea of such swollen ego.
DANIEL: Tis not ego my friend; it is the gift that nature has endowed upon but a few.
JOAN: Hey Daniel; come down off that pedestal before you fall down and hurt yourself.
APPLE: How long has he been like this? I hope it’s nothing serious.
DANIEL: Don’t joke about the higher levels of intellect that we, of above average IQ, are endowed with.
JOY: What? You’re only above average? Half the campus is above average. Jenny’s above average.
DANIEL: Ah. A kindred spirit; I must find her and communicate.
BULL: Boy oh boy. Has that gone to his head?
JOAN: He’s been like that since yesterday when he got the IQ results.
APPLE: He probably got the shock of his life when he found out.
JOY: He probably just made a few lucky guesses and got himself a score way above what it ought to have been.
JOAN: Yeah. You could be right; he’s never been all that bright.
JACKY: We just passed Daniel. What’s up with him?
BULL: He thinks he’s a genius because he got lucky with the IQ test.
FRANKIE: I didn’t have much trouble with it. If it was too hard I just left it blank.
JOY: Now there’s the sign of a genius. Why damage your brain trying to work out insoluble problems?
APPLE: (Turning to Frankie) How’s Linda today, Frankie?
FRANKIE: I haven’t seen her yet. I’ve been practising basketball.
JOAN: What about you Jacky; what’ve you been up to?
JACKY: I was practising with Frankie.
BULL: How did you go in the IQ Test?
JACKY: Haven’t a clue. I didn’t bother to check the results.
JOY: Why? Didn’t you expect to do any good?
JACKY: No; it’s not that. They’re just a waste of time.
APPLE: No they’re not. They tell you how clever you are.
FRANKIE: So, who wants to be clever? Life’s all about doing what you like doing and having fun.
JACKY: Yeah; that’s right. If you don’t like doing what you’re doing; why in the hell are you doing it?
BULL: That’s a pretty stupid attitude.
JACKY: That’s not stupid; that’s being smart.
JOAN: You two are going to go a long way in life with that attitude.
JACKY: Yeah; that’s what I reckon. And we’re going to have a lot of fun doing it.
JOY: That’s alright while you’re at Uni but, what’s going to happen when you get out into the real world?
FRANKIE: Not a problem. I’ve already got a contract with a pro basketball team.
BULL: You have?
FRANKIE: Sure have. It’s a 3 year deal to start and, by then, I’ll be up there with Michael Jordan.
JOAN: Boy; have you got some big ideas!
JACKY: If you’re going to get anywhere, you’ve got to aim for the stars.
BULL: Gee, Frankie, I didn’t know you were that good.
FRANKIE: Well, we’ve all got to do what we’re good at. We all have gifts so; we’ve just got to make the best use of what we’re given.
JOY: Since when have you gone into philosophy?
JACKY: That’s not philosophy; that’s just plain common sense.
JOAN: (Speaking to Frankie) What are you going to do about Linda if you go trooping off to basketball for 3 years?
FRANKIE: That’s for me and Linda to work out. She’s a pretty smart lass, and besides, we both have plenty of time to work out what we want.
BULL: We think she got a very high IQ score; she’s probably in the genius class.
FRANKIE: Wow! Is that right? That’s great.
JOAN: Doesn’t it worry you that she might be very clever?
FRANKIE: Why should it?
JOAN: Well……because …….
FRANKIE: It’s always good when you know someone who knows more than you; that way you can learn things.
JOY: You’re really into this philosophy kick; eh Frankie?
FRANKIE: I don’t know what you mean. I don’t know anything about philosophy; it’s just what I think.
JACKY: That’s the trouble with you guys; you don’t know anything about common sense.
BULL: What’s philosophy got to do with common sense?
JACKY: Don’t you mean, what’s common sense got to do with philosophy?
JOAN: Nothing, as far as I know.
JACKY: Well, there you are; a fine example of a negative IQ if ever I saw one!
JOY: Here come Linda and Jenny. See what they’ve got to say.
JACKY: Hi Linda; hi Jenny; we’ve got a problem here.
LINDA: (Ignoring Jacky and turning to Frankie) Hi Frankie; you’ve been practising, I see.
FRANKIE: Sure have. I was just on my way to see you.
LINDA: Oh; were you?
FRANKIE: Yep; sure was. Just wanted to say congratulations; they tell me you did very well in the IQ test.
LINDA: Oh! Who told you? (Turning to glare at Jenny)
JENNY: I never said a word; I swear.
FRANKIE: What’s wrong with that? I think it’s great. I wish I had a brain like yours.
LINDA: (Turning to Frankie) You don’t mind?
FRANKIE: No; why would I?
LINDA: That’s wonderful. I didn’t know if you would still like me.
FRANKIE: That’s crazy; I’ll always like you just the way you are.
JACKY: I think we’ve got a bad case of true love here; let’s get out of it and leave them to it.