The Parcel

A one act play for 6 students to perform in class.

Cast

 * 1) Ruby, the owner of the parcel
 * 2) Diamond, a patient waiting to see the Doctor (Can be either male or female)
 * 3) Granite, another patient waiting to see the Doctor (Can be either male or female)
 * 4) Sandy Stone, a Detective (Can be either male or female)
 * 5) Dr. Clay, the Doctor
 * 6) Rosalie, the Receptionist

Scene
The waiting room in a Doctor’s surgery


 * Props:
 * A bench seat
 * A cardboard box tied with string
 * Some magazines
 * A desk and chair
 * A phone


 * Sound Effects: Supplied off stage as appropriate


 * Conventions: Full caps text is SHOUTED; italicised text is spoken with emphasis

ROSALIE: (Talking to a female at the receptionist’s desk) Could you give me your name please.

RUBY: (nervously) I er, I er, just want to leave this here. (Showing Rosalie the parcel)

ROSALIE: You can’t leave anything here unless you give me your name.

RUBY: I won’t be long. I’ll be back in a minute. (Turning to place the box on the seat)

ROSALIE: Don’t put that on the seat. Give me your name please.

RUBY: Be careful of it and don’t open it whatever you do. (Turning to leave the surgery)

ROSALIE: Hey. You can’t leave that here.

RUBY: (As she leaves) I’ll be back in a minute. Just don’t open it and don’t move it. (Ruby then rushes out in a hurry, colliding with Diamond as he/she enters.)

ROSALIE: Come back here, now!

DIAMOND: What’s all that about?

ROSALIE: That woman left her parcel here and didn’t give me her name.

DIAMOND: Doesn’t matter. I heard her say she’d be back in a minute.

ROSALIE: Maybe! It seemed very peculiar.

DIAMOND: Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I have an appointment with the Doc.

ROSALIE: Its Mr. Diamond, isn’t it?

DIAMOND: Yeah, that’s right. (Walking to the bench seat and about to move the box)

ROSALIE: Don’t touch it! She said not to move it.

DIAMOND: What? The box?

ROSALIE: Yes. The box. She said don’t open it and don’t move it.

DIAMOND: That’s crazy. It’s only a box.

(Dr. Clay enters the waiting room from the Surgery)

DR. CLAY: What’s crazy?

DIAMOND: Some woman left this box on the seat.

DR. CLAY: Well, just move it and put it over there. (Pointing to a place on the stage)

ROSALIE: But she said not to move it or open it.

DR. CLAY: Why not? What’s in it?

DIAMOND: How do I know, I haven’t opened it.

DR. CLAY: Well open it.

ROSALIE: No, you can’t. We don’t know what’s in it.

DR. CLAY: This is crazy. Who was the woman who left it here?

ROSALIE: I don’t know. She wouldn’t give me her name.

(Granite enters the waiting room as this discussion is going on)

GRANITE: What’s going on?

DIAMOND: Some woman left this box on the seat and rushed out.

GRANITE: Did she forget it?

ROSALIE: No. she left it here on purpose.

DR. CLAY: What do you mean; “On purpose”?

ROSALIE: She said not to move it or open it.

GRANITE: That doesn’t sound too good. What’s in the box?

DIAMOND: We don’t know. We haven’t opened it.

GRANITE: Is it making a noise?

DR. CLAY: Of course not. It’s just a box.

DIAMOND: What are you talking about? What sort of noise?

GRANITE: Well. Like a clock ticking.

ROSALIE: What do you mean? Like a bomb?

GRANITE: Yeah. I’ve seen bombs made like that with a clock to make them explode at a certain time.

DIAMOND: Yeah. And where have you seen that?

GRANITE: There was a movie only last week…….

DR. CLAY: You’ve been watching too many movies.

DIAMOND: That sounds about right. Who’d want to leave a bomb in a Doctor’s surgery?

ROSALIE: (obviously frightened) It couldn’t really be a bomb, could it?

DR. CLAY: Of course not. Nobody’s going to blow up my place.

GRANITE: Don’t be so sure. Maybe you have some disgruntled patients and they’ve got it in for you

DR. CLAY: (Looking a little bit worried) Certainly not. I know all my patients.

GRANITE: Well, are you going to see if it’s making any noises?

DIAMOND: What, the box? Hang on, I’ll have a listen. Just be quiet. (He goes over to the box and gets down on his hands and knees to have a listen)

DR. CLAY: Can you hear anything?

DIAMOND: No, nothing except a sort of rustling sound.

GRANITE: What do you mean, “A rustling sound”?

DIAMOND: It might be something moving. It comes and goes.

DR. CLAY: Thank heavens. It can’t be a bomb in that case.

GRANITE: Don’t be so sure. Bombs come in all shapes and sizes.

ROSALIE: Shouldn’t we call the Police?

DIAMOND: Awww. I don’t know. Shouldn’t we wait for a while to see if the lady comes back?

DR. CLAY: That’s alright for you to say; it’s not your surgery.

DIAMOND: You’re going to look pretty silly if it’s nothing serious.

DR. CLAY: Better safe than sorry. Rose, call the Police and tell them what’s happened.

(Rosalie goes to the desk and picks up the phone)

GRANITE: Is there any smell with the box?

DR. CLAY: Why would the box smell?

GRANITE: It could be some sort of dangerous chemicals.

DIAMOND: You’re getting a bit paranoid. Nobody’s going to leave dangerous chemicals lying around.

GRANITE: It might be radio active?

ROSALIE: (Even more frightened) Don’t say that! It couldn’t be, could it?

DR. CLAY: (To Granite) Of course not. Don’t say things like that to frighten us.

GRANITE: I wish we had a Geiger Counter to make sure it isn’t.

DR. CLAY: (Turning to Rosalie) What did the Police say Rose?

ROSALIE: They are sending someone over. They should be here shortly.

DIAMOND: I think we ought to open it and see what’s in it.

ROSALIE: No, you mustn’t. It could be dangerous.

DIAMOND: Not that dangerous. The woman carried it in here, didn’t she?

ROSALIE: Yes, but………

DIAMOND: OK. Have you got a knife or a pair of scissors?

GRANITE: No you don’t. You’re no going to open the box.

DIAMOND: You want to stop me? (Moving towards the box)

GRANITE: (Moving to stand between Diamond and the box) If I have to.

DR. CLAY: Calm down you two. The Police are on the way; let them handle it.

ROSALIE: Please, don’t touch the box.

DIAMOND: Oh. Alright. You’re just making a mountain out of a molehill

(The Detective enters the stage)

SANDY STONE: OK. I’m Detective Stone. What’s the problem here?

DR. CLAY: A woman came in and left this box on the seat.

SANDY STONE: So, what’s wrong with that?

ROSALIE: She said not to open it and not to move it.

SANDY STONE: Did she say why?

DIAMOND: No.

SANDY STONE: And who are you may I ask? What do you know about the box?

DIAMOND: I’m a patient. I have an appointment with the Doc. I don’t know anything about the box.

SANDY STONE: That sounds a bit convenient to me. You turn up at the same time as the box.

DIAMOND: Hey. Steady up. That box hasn’t anything to do with me.

SANDY STONE: (Turning to Granite) And what about you? What’s your story?

GRANITE: I came to see the Doc. That’s got nothing to do with me.

SANDY STONE: (Turning to Doctor Clay) Is that right? Can you confirm that?

DR CLAY: That’s right, isn’t it Rose?

ROSALIE: That’s right. Both these patients have appointments. They came to see the Doctor.

SANDY STONE: So, who was the woman who brought you the box?

ROSALIE: She didn’t bring me the box; she just left it here.

SANDY STONE: And why would she do that?

DR CLAY: That’s what we don’t know. That’s why we called you.

SANDY STONE: So, what’s in the box?

GRANITE: We don’t know! She said not to open it and not to move it.

SANDY STONE: Who told you that?

GRANITE: She did. (Pointing to Rosalie)

SANDY STONE: (Turning to Rosalie) And why would you say that if you didn’t know what was in the box?

DR CLAY: Hey. Just a minute. Rosalie’s not the criminal here. Some woman came in and left the box and told us it wasn’t to be moved and we mustn’t open it.

SANDY STONE: Ah. So you were all here when this alleged woman came in and left the box?

DIAMOND: She wasn’t no alleged woman; I bumped into her as she was leaving.

SANDY STONE: So, you saw her and know who she is?

DIAMOND: No I didn’t see her and I don’t know who she is.

SANDY STONE: Let’s get this straight. One moment you say you bumped into her and the next you say you didn’t see her. Which is the truth?

DIAMOND: What I mean is; I did bump into her but I didn’t see who she was.

SANDY STONE: So, if you had seen her would you be able to recognise her again?

DIAMOND: How do I know you silly twit; I just told you I didn’t recognise her.

SANDY STONE: Just watch your language or I’ll arrest you for abusing an officer on duty.

GRANITE: Aw, come off it; they’re just telling you what happened.

SANDY STONE: (Turning to Granite) So, were you here to see what happened? Can you confirm his story?

ROSALIE: I can. That’s exactly what happened. The woman came in here and left the box and bumped into Mr/Ms/Mrs (Depends on gender used) Diamond as she rushed out.

SANDY STONE: (Turning to Rosalie) So, you saw the woman and let her leave the box here?

ROSALIE: No! I didn’t let here leave the box here.

SANDY STONE: But it is here so; how did it get here?

DR CLAY: It’s like Rosalie said; a woman came in and left the box on the seat and rushed out.

SANDY STONE: (Turning to the Doctor) And can you confirm that Doctor? Were you here when this alleged event happened?

DR CLAY: This is no alleged event. There’s the box; right there on the seat.

SANDY STONE: So, did you actually see this happen?

DR CLAY: No, I was in the surgery and came out after.

SANDY STONE: So, we only have one witness to what allegedly took place?

DIAMOND: Come off it Detective. I saw the woman leave. She was here and she left the box.

SANDY STONE: (Turning to Diamond) If that’s true, why didn’t you grab her and stop her leaving?

DIAMOND: How did I know what was happening?

SANDY STONE: So, there you are. We only have one witness to what allegedly took place.

GRANITE: What are you trying to say? That this is some sort of conspiracy?

SANDY STONE: Certainly not, at least; not at this stage. I am just trying to establish the facts.

DOCTOR CLAY: Well, they are pretty clear. A woman came in here; left a box and rushed out.

SANDY STONE: Well, that doesn’t appear to be all that is alleged to have happened.

DIAMOND: What do you mean, alleged?

SANDY STONE: Just that. All we have is this one eye witness’s account of the alleged incident that no one can corroborate.

DOCTOR CLAY: Are you saying my Receptionist made up the story?

SANDY STONE: No, I’m not saying that. I just need to establish what is alleged to have happened.

DIAMOND: Well, there’s the box. Why don’t you open it and see what happens?

SANDY STONE: Maybe I will once I know what’s in it.

GRANITE: But that’s the problem; we don’t know what’s in the box.

ROSALIE: No, you can’t open it. The woman said it wasn’t to be opened or moved.

SANDY STONE: Well, it can’t be too dangerous if this alleged woman is alleged to have brought it in here and, allegedly, placed it on the seat.

DIAMOND: There’s nothing allegedly about it. It happened. So, what are you going to do about it?

SANDY STONE: Don’t get smart with me (Sir/Madam); (Depends on gender) I’ve already warned you once.

DOCTOR CLAY: So, Detective; what are you going to do about it?

SANDY STONE: Well! I think the obvious thing to do is find out what’s in the box.

GRANITE: And how do you propose to do that?

SANDY STONE: First of all, I’ll have to make a close examination.

DIAMOND: We’ve already done that.

SANDY STONE: Ah. But this will be a proper professional examination.

DR. CLAY: That will be interesting!

ROSALIE: Just as long as you don’t open the box or move it.

SANDY STONE: My dear lady; I will conduct this examination in the manner I deem appropriate.

ROSALIE: Just as long as you don’t open it or move it.

SANDY STONE: Will you please be quiet and let me get on with my examination.

GRANITE: That’s a good idea. Please get on with your examination.

SANDY STONE: Thank you. Now, if you would all go outside I will get started.

DR. CLAY: No way! I’m not leaving my surgery and leaving you here alone.

ROSALIE: (Addressing the Detective) Do you think it’s a bomb?

SANDY STONE: No, of course not. I’m just taking precautions; that’s all.

DIAMOND: If you’re not going to open it or move it; where’s the danger?

SANDY STONE: There is no danger. It’s just a SOP.

GRANITE: What do you mean? It’s all just a joke?

SANDY STONE: (An aside to himself) God help me from these civilians. – (Then addressing Granite) No; it’s a Standard Operating Procedure.

DR. CLAY: Does that mean you’re familiar with these sort of situations.

SANDY STONE: Yes, of course. Detectives are trained to handle any event.

GRANITE: This is really going to be interesting!

DIAMOND: Well, are you going to start this professional examination or not?

SANDY STONE: I certainly will as soon as you all go outside.

DR. CLAY: I told you before; I’m not leaving here.

SANDY STONE: I’m going to have to call for reinforcements if you don’t do as you’re told.

DR. CLAY: That’s ridiculous.

SANDY STONE: No more ridiculous than hindering an officer in the course of his duties.

DIAMOND: We’re not hindering you.

GRANITE: That’s right; we’re not stopping you examining the box.

DR. CLAY: If you’re not going to move the box or open it; why can’t we stay and see how a professional conducts an examination?

SANDY STONE: I just told you; it’s a matter of Standard Operating Procedures.

ROSALIE: Then you do think it’s a bomb?

SANDY STONE: No, it’s not a bomb. It’s just a box.

DIAMOND: An interesting observation for someone who hasn’t even examined the object!

SANDY STONE: (Starting to get annoyed) Are you trying to be funny?

DIAMOND: Certainly not. I’m just making a comment.

SANDY STONE: Well keep your comments to yourself.

DIAMOND: Certainly Sir, if that helps you with your Standard Operating Procedures for conducting an examination.

SANDY STONE: Stop being a smart-arse.

GRANITE: We’re not being a smart-arses; we’re just making an observation.

SANDY STONE: AND YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS TOO.

DR. CLAY: Now, don’t you talk to my patients like that.

SANDY STONE: AND YOU STAY OUT TOO.

(Rosalie starts to cry)

SANDY STONE: Good heavens woman; what are you crying about?

ROSALIE: (Sobbing) It’s a bomb and we’re all going to get blown up.

SANDY STONE: You silly woman. It’s not a bomb and nobody’s going to get blown up.

DR. CLAY: Don’t be rude to my Receptionist.

(While everyone is arguing and Rosalie is crying, Ruby enters the Waiting Room and picks up her box. She stands in the background without saying anything and, as she is about to leave, she speaks.)

RUBY: Thanks for looking after my parcel. I’ve got to hurry. (Ruby runs off stage)

ROSALIE: That’s her. That’s the woman.

SANDY STONE: Where? What? (The Detective suddenly turns and runs off stage after Ruby.)

DR. CLAY: Well; that’s been a right, royal, stuff-up if ever I’ve seen one!

(Curtain comes down as everyone bursts into laughter.)

THE END