Teaching in a Foreign Land

A one act play for 7 students to perform in class. Examples of broken English have been used deliberately - correcting these could be used by the Teacher as an exercise for the class.

Cast
The gender of all characters is interchangeable
 * 1) Teacher 1 (To be allocated names according to gender)
 * 2) Teacher 2 (To be allocated names according to gender)
 * 3) Student 1 (To be allocated names according to gender)
 * 4) Student 2 (To be allocated names according to gender)
 * 5) Student 3 (To be allocated names according to gender)
 * 6) Principal
 * 7) Vice Principal

Scene
A classroom


 * Props:
 * Desks, chairs, blackboard


 * Sound effects:
 * Supplied off stage as appropriate


 * Conventions:
 * Full caps text is SHOUTED; italicized text is spoken with emphasis

The Principal and Vice Principal are welcoming two new Teachers to their school and showing them a typical classroom.

PRINCIPAL: As you can see, our classrooms are very basic but adequate for the job.

TEACHER 1: Yes; is this a typical classroom?

TEACHER 2: I thought we would have some audio and video equipment in the classrooms.

VICE PRINCIPAL: I’m afraid our budget doesn’t run to that sort of expenditure.

TEACHER 2: There doesn’t seem to be any heating arrangements in the classroom. What happens in the winter?

PRINCIPAL: Ah; that’s what we have padded coats for.

TEACHER 2: But; it gets below freezing in the winter.

VICE PRINCIPAL: Yes; and that’s when you might need a scarf and some gloves.

TEACHER 2: How am I going to teach when I’m frozen half to death?

TEACHER 1: I guess; you’ll just have to get used to it.

TEACHER 2: What about the students? How are they going to learn when they’re half frozen too?

PRINCIPAL: I think you will find the students are quite used to our winter weather.

VICE PRINCIPAL: And besides; it’s only for part of the year.

TEACHER 2: This is going to be a real learning curve for me.

TEACHER 1: Isn’t that why you came here in the first place?

TEACHER 2: Yeah; but not to be half frozen to death.

PRINCIPAL: I can assure you; once you get acclimatised, you’ll hardly notice the winter.

TEACHER 2: And how long will it take me to get acclimatised?

VICE PRINCIPAL: You should be right after your first winter.

TEACHER 1: Do all your classrooms have moveable desks?

PRINCIPAL: No; some of them have fixed furniture.

VICE PRINCIPAL: Why do you ask? Does it make a difference to the way you teach?

TEACHER 1: Very much so. Moveable furniture allows for much more flexibility in the teaching methods.

TEACHER 2: Do we have a choice with the type of classroom we use?

PRINCIPAL: Yes; you do. We can allocate you whichever classroom you prefer.

TEACHER 2: That’s good; I prefer my classroom with fixed furniture.

VICE PRINCIPAL: It seems you each have different ideas about the way you will be teaching.

TEACHER 1: Is that a problem?

PRINCIPAL: I don’t think so but, I will need you to check your program with me before the start of the semester.

VICE PRINCIPAL: We have invited three of our students to join us so you can talk to then and get an idea of what the classes will be like.

TEACHER 2: That’s a good idea. I presume they speak reasonable English?

PRINCIPAL: Reasonable, but typical.

VICE PRINCIPAL: I’ll call them in.

(The Vice Principal goes to the side of the stage and beckons the three students to join the group)

PRINCIPAL: (Introducing each of the students) This is [Student 1], [Student 2] and [Student 3] (They each nod in turn as they are introduced)

TEACHER 1: Pleased to meet you. I’m Mr/Ms [Allocated name] but you can call me [First name].

TEACHER 2: I’m Mr/Ms [Allocated name].

VICE PRINCIPAL: (Addressing the students) These will be your new foreign teachers for next semester.

TEACHER 1: (Addressing the Students) It’s good of you to come and see us. Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?

STUDENT 1: No. That’s why we came.

TEACHER 2: What year are you in at school?

STUDENT 2: We are all in same class.

VICE PRINCIPAL: All the students are in Year 8.

TEACHER 1: Thanks. (Turning to the students) Have you had a foreign teacher before?

STUDENT 3: Yes. Last year we had an Indian teacher.

PRINCIPAL: That was Ms. Indra, but she was only here for one semester.

TEACHER 2: What about before that?

STUDENT 2: What about what?

TEACHER 2: Before Ms. Indra

STUDENT 1: No; she only here for one semester.

TEACHER 2: (Starting to get a little frustrated) No; what I mean is; have you had any other foreign teachers before Ms. Indra?

STUDENT 1: Beg pardon.

TEACHER 2: No; beg your pardon.

STUDENT 3: Why? What have you done?

TEACHER 2: No. what you have to say is; I beg your pardon.

STUDENT 2: Why? We don’t know what you’ve done.

TEACHER 2: I’ve done nothing. I don’t have to say beg your pardon.

STUDENT 3: You just said it. We don’t understand.

TEACHER 1: What we were asking is; have you had any other foreign teachers besides Ms. Indra?

STUDENT 1: No; she was by herself. Nobody was next to her.

TEACHER 1: OK. So, she’s the only foreign teacher you’ve had?

STUDENT 2: Yes, she and Mr. Trainer.

TEACHER 2: Who’s Mr. Trainer?

STUDENT 3: He’s a foreign teacher from Canada.

VICE PRINCIPAL: Mr. Trainer was here for a one year contract.

TEACHER 2: This is like getting blood from of a stone.

STUDENT 1: I didn’t know stones have blood.

TEACHER 1: No. That’s an idiom. It’s just an English saying.

STUDENT 2: Funny saying. What’s it mean?

TEACHER 1: It means that something is very difficult to do.

STUDENT 3: It’s very hard to get blood from a stone?

TEACHER 2: Yes; very hard.

STUDENT 1: Why?

TEACHER 2: What do you mean; why?

STUDENT 1: Why did you say it was hard getting blood from stone?

TEACHER 2: Because there is no blood in a stone.

STUDENT 3: Then, why you say there is?

TEACHER 2: I didn’t say there was.

STUDENT 2: We very confused.

TEACHER 1: What my friend here means is, when something is hard to do we sometimes say it is like getting blood from a stone because, a stone doesn’t have any blood and that makes it a very hard thing to do.

STUDENT 1: That’s very strange.

TEACHER 1: Yes; it’s like a lot of Idioms; they are very strange unless you understand what they mean.

STUDENT 2: But, if stones have no blood; why’d you say it?

TEACHER 1: Sometimes, hard things are impossible to do; like getting blood from a stone.

STUDENT 3: Ahhhh. I see; when something’s impossible?

TEACHER 2: No. No; that’s not exactly what it means. It just means something is difficult to do.

STUDENT 1: I don’t understand Idioms.

TEACHER 1: I guess that’s one of the things we will have to try and teach you then.

STUDENT 2: Yes please. Our books say use idioms make speech colourful.

TEACHER 2: There you are; you’ve just used an idiom.

STUDENT 3: What? Where?

TEACHER 1: Colourful is an idiom.

STUDENT 1: No; colourful is word. It mean pretty and lots of colours.

TEACHER 2: That’s what the Dictionary says. When we use it as an idiom, it has a different meaning.

STUDENT 2: How do we know it’s an idiom?

STUDENT 3: What’s it mean?

TEACHER 1: When it is used with a language, like English, it becomes an idiom.

STUDENT 1: Why? What makes it an idiom?

TEACHER 2: Well; a language doesn’t have a colour. We don’t say a language is Red, or Blue, or Yellow.

STUDENT 2: Then, why we say it’s colourful?

TEACHER 1: What it means is; it makes the language more attractive to the listener, or the reader.

STUDENT 3: That’s not sensible. If he doesn’t know what it means, she be confuse.

TEACHER 1: I think I have to agree with you there. Idioms only make sense if everyone understands what they mean.

STUDENT 1: This is very complicated. Why is English so hard to learn?

TEACHER 1: I guess it has a lot to do with the reason you need to learn the language.

PRINCIPAL: Yes, I agree with that. There has to be a strong motive.

TEACHER 2: And, what is the principle motivation for the students to learn English?

VICE PRINCIPAL: They need it to pass their exams.

TEACHER 2: But, is it actually going to be used for anything else?

STUDENT 1: I will be translator in foreign business.

TEACHER 1: That should give you a lot of incentive to learn your English.

STUDENT 1: Yes; but I still need pass exams.

TEACHER 2: (Addressing Student 2) And, what about you? What do you plan to do with your English?

STUDENT 2: I will study overseas. Get business degree.

TEACHER 1: (Addressing Student 3) And, what about you? What are your plans?

STUDENT 3: I don’t know. I don’t like English much. It’s too complicated and hard.

PRINCIPAL: (Addressing the Teachers) I hope this little introduction has been useful.

TEACHER 1: Oh; it has been; very useful as a matter of fact.

TEACHER 2: Yes; I agree. It would also help a lot if we can find out how the other teachers teach English.

VICE PRINCIPAL: We can arrange that for you, but our teachers don’t teach Oral English.

TEACHER 2: What about the other foreign teachers you’ve had here?

PRINCIPAL: The students could explain that better than us.

TEACHER 1: (Addressing the students) What happened in your classes with the foreign teachers?

STUDENT 1: Not much.

TEACHER 2: What do you mean, not much? There must have been a program?

STUDENT 2: We read the book to each other. English book.

TEACHER 1: What sort of book was it?

STUDENT 3: Just a book with stories.

TEACHER 2: (Addressing the Principal) Was this a book set by the School?

PRINCIPAL: Not exactly. We gave the teacher a choice between three books to use as the basis for the Oral classes.

TEACHER 1: Were there any guidelines for these Oral classes?

VICE PRINCIPAL: The teachers set out their program and we approve it at the beginning of the semester.

TEACHER 2: What are the requirements for testing the students?

PRINCIPAL: That’s left up to the foreign teachers.

STUDENT 1: Oral exam not very important. Proper English Exam most important.

TEACHER 1: (Addressing the Principal) Is that correct?

PRINCIPAL: The formal written exams are necessary for graduation but students should pass their Oral exam as well.

TEACHER 2: But, the Oral exam is not considered essential? Is that right?

VICE PRINCIPAL: The students do need to use the language. They spend many years learning English but don’t get many chances to use it.

TEACHER 1: (Addressing the students) How many years have you been learning English?

STUDENT 2: This now all our six year.

TEACHER 2: Do you use your English outside of the classroom?

STUDENT 3: Sometimes, we go to English Corner.

TEACHER 1: How often do you have that?

STUDENT 2: It’s every Sunday morning.

TEACHER 2: Do you get to talk very much at your English Corners?

STUDENT 1: Mostly, we listen.

TEACHER 1: (Addressing the Principal) Do you, and all the English Teachers, go to the English Corners?

PRINCIPAL: Sometimes, but it is mainly the responsibility of the Foreign Teachers to organise the English Corners.

TEACHER 2: What about the students; is it compulsory they attend?

STUDENT 2: Only sometimes. Sometimes, we busy.

TEACHER 1: I’m not sure what you mean by, sometimes it is compulsory?

VICE PRINCIPAL: Actually, it is compulsory for all the students in the English Department to attend the English Corners but; most of them only go a few times during the semester.

TEACHER 2: Do you do anything about that?

VICE PRINCIPAL: We try, but it’s hard.

TEACHER 1: I guess we’ll have to make the English Corners more interesting so the students will want to come.

STUDENT 3: That a good idea.

TEACHER 2: Maybe we should let the students organise the English Corners.

STUDENT 2: That not a good idea.

TEACHER 1: Why’s that?

STUDENT 2: That lot of work. We not have time.

TEACHER 1: Oh; I don’t know. I think we’ll be able to work something out.

STUDENT 3: This not sound good.

VICE PRINCIPAL: I think it’s a wonderful idea.

TEACHER 1: Well; we’ll wait until the semester starts and see how the first few English Corners go.

TEACHER 2: We’ll also have a better feel for the students by then.

PRINCIPAL: That makes sense.

TEACHER 1: (Addressing the Students) Thank you for coming in to talk with us. It’s been very helpful and appreciated.

STUDENT 1: Thanks you for coming to our school. We hope you like it here.

TEACHER 2: Oh, I’m sure we will except, maybe, for the winter.

STUDENT 2: That not a problem. That’s when we have lots of snow and many holidays.

STUDENT 3: We can go now?

TEACHER 1: Yes, and thanks again.

(The students leave the stage)

PRINCIPAL: Well, what do you think?

TEACHER 1: I think this is going to be great.

TEACHER 2: Yeah; and the same goes for me – as long as the winter isn’t too cold.

(The curtain comes down)

THE END